I’ve never had an easy time writing happy poems. Ever since I started writing poetic material, the vast majority of my work has tended to be melancholy, frustrated, or angry. When I have written happy poems, they often seemed artificial or labored…like I was pretending to be something I wasn’t. ‘Pretender’ is a collection of these happier poems. Several of them did have sincere emotion behind them, but most were merely wishful thinking.
August 25th, 2002
I seem to have run out
Of things to talk about
Tasteless and tongue-tied
Through every little lie
But it’s over now
When almost every song
Sounds like the one before
When every single note
Has been sung
When every single bell
Has rung that final chime
I’m not sure what road to turn
And drive next
So many songs
Written in white
They disappear in
The light
And the sun has risen
On a whole new day
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November 12th, 2002
I call your name
Here I am
You say you need me
Here I stand
And these worldly ways
I’ve lived my life
They’ve left me empty
On the inside
I stand before you broken
A man who’s lost his way
I’d ask for your forgiveness
But I don’t know what to say
So, here I am
I’ll follow your lead anywhere
Here I am
I’ll do just what you ask me to
Here I am
Just waiting for a sign, Lord
Here I am
I’ve walked through disbelief
Until your light shone on my face
So come into my life, Lord
And fill me with your grace
Here I am
I’ll follow your lead anywhere
Here I am
I’ll do just what you ask me to
Here I am
Just waiting for a sign, Lord
Here I am
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November 10th, 2001
Whatever I do I’m breaking all the rules
I’m not supposed to let me fall for you
I’ve built all these walls to keep myself safe
To keep out all of the cold
But you tore them down
You shook the ground
And maybe I’m not meant to be alone
But the wind is changing
These shadows fade in the day
The world is turning
And I don’t get it anyway
Cause I’m tired of driving these highways
But this hurt lives next-door too
I’m tired of loving and living
But I’d love and live for you
Whatever I do I’m breaking all the rules
I’m not supposed to not know what to do
I put up all these fences now
They keep me safely left alone
But you walked around
And now I’ve found
That maybe I’m not meant to be alone
And the wind is changing
These shadows fade in the day
The world is turning
And I don’t get it anyway
Cause I’m tired of driving these highways
But this hurt lives next-door too
I’m tired of loving and living
But I’d love and live for you
Cause I’m tired of driving these highways
But this hurt lives next-door too
I’m tired of loving and living
Why not love and live for you?
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April 25th, 2002
I was all alone
In a world so full of pain
I was a lone pretender
In a search for pointless fame
Oh, I had no reasons
In fact I had nothing at all
Perhaps a joke, or failure
From the gates of Shangri-La
So it seems to me
We trudged along
Like strangers in the dark
‘Til the day I met you
And the flame was sparked
And all the pain that came before you
Yeah, it all just fades away
I’d like to say I love you, babe
And there ain’t much more to say
When I met you girl
It was like a stone unturned
It was a perfect moment
Like the stories that I’ve heard
Oh, you are the reason
For everything I do
You are my life, my passion
My love and comfort too
So it seems to me
We trudged along
Like strangers in the dark
‘Til the day I met you
And the flame was sparked
And all the pain that came before you
Yeah, it all just fades away
I’d like to say I love you, babe
And there ain’t much more to say
Yeah it seems to me
We trudged along
Like strangers in the dark
‘Til the day I met you
And that flame was sparked
And all the pain that came before you
Girl, it all just fades away
I’d like to say I love you, babe
And that’s all I’ve got to say
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December 15th, 2000
You’re everything I’ve ever wanted
You’re like a dream come true to me
I know I don’t have all the answers
But you make me want to sing
I may not be the things you need
But I’ll do the best I can
Because the world’s so clear to me
When you hold my hand
Close your eyes, rest your head
It’s safe to fall asleep here in my arms
Do not fear, I am here
To be your sunshine after every single rain
Don’t let go, no, don’t let go
Just let me hold you tight here in my arms
You’re everything I’ve ever wanted
No one’s ever made me feel this way
Sometimes I don’t know how to tell you
All the things I’m scared to say
You’ve found the warmth within
This cold, cold heart of mine
And the world’s so clear to me
So clear this time
Close your eyes, rest your head
It’s safe to fall asleep here in my arms
Do not fear, I am here
To dry the tears that sometimes fall like rain
Don’t let go, no, don’t let go
I never want you to let go
You make me smile when I am down
Bring out the best there is in me
You bring a world so full of colours
To these eyes that could not see
Every touch is like heaven
Every word like a great symphony
And the world’s so clear to me
So clear to me now
So…close your eyes, rest your head
Please don’t ever let me go
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September 1st, 1999
I would give anything
To hear your voice right now
So soothing and so sweet
Makes me feel complete
And I would give anything
To see you here right now
So elegant and wonderful
Intelligent and beautiful
And I wonder if you’re dreaming
Of me this stormy night
Because I am dreaming of you
Tonight
I never thought
I’d meet someone like you
Never a moment bland
Accepts the way I am
And I would give anything
To be allowed to love you
Hold you tight tonight
Make everything alright
And I wonder if you’re dreaming
Of me this stormy night
Because I am dreaming of you
Tonight
I would give anything
Under the midnight sky
To have you by my side
Tell me it’ll be alright
And I would give anything
To tell you how I’m feeling
Tell you how I care
Should I dare…to love you
And I wonder if you’re dreaming
Of me this stormy night
Because I know I’m dreaming of you
Tonight
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November 30th, 2001
It’s been so long
Since I thought I had a chance
I’d gotten used
To your being just a friend
I can’t believe
It’s anything more than a dream
I can’t believe
That I’m here now holding you
I always thought
There was something between us
Haven’t you heard
I’ve been sayin’ all along
But I believed
It was just going nowhere
I didn’t know that a man
Like me could be so wrong
One November night
The whole world seemed so right
And maybe, if you’ll forget yesterday
Then you’d let me stay
I didn’t mean
To come here and confuse you
I didn’t know
I was so in love with you
How could I know?
After years past without you
How could I know
You were just too close to see
One November night
The whole world seemed so right
And maybe, if you forget yesterday
Then you’d let me stay
Every night, I’ve just wanted to hold you
Wanting to show you the love
I’ve been holding inside
One November night
The whole world seemed so right
And maybe, if you forget yesterday
Then you’d let me stay
Take my hand, girl, I can show you the way
Please, please let me stay
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April 9th, 2000
I’m as high as a kite on your love
And it’s oh so much more than wonderful
I’m as high as a kite on your touch
And I yearn for every single one
I’m as high as a kite on your caress
And finally the whole world seems in tune
I’m high as a kite on your love
And it’s oh so much more than wonderful
When you touch me I swear it’s heaven
I want to be by your side
And I just can’t believe that you’re mine!
I’m as high as a kite on your love
And it’s oh so much more than wonderful
I’m as high as a kite on your touch
And you know you’re all I want
I’m as high as a kite on your caress
And you’ve put my whole world in tune
I’m as high as a kite on your love
And it’s oh so much more than wonderful
When you touch me I swear it’s heaven
I want to be by your side
And I just can’t believe that you’re mine!
I’m as high as a kite on your love
And it’s oh so much more than wonderful
I’m as high as a kite on your touch
And I yearn for every single one
I’m as high as a kite on your caress
And finally the whole world seems in tune
I’m high as a kite on your love
And it’s oh so much more than wonderful
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April 9th, 2000
I’d fallen out of happiness
Lonely where I was
Untouchables and liars
Masqueraded as love
But finally I’m back in style
Finally alright
Touch the face of happiness
Touching you tonight
‘Cause I’m in the groove again
Needle back on track
The darkness turns to daylight
In a momentary crack
I touch you and my heart melts
You touch me and I know then
This dream has finally come true
And I’m in the groove again
Falling into happiness
Lovely where I am
In your love so bright today
The darkness cannot stand
Finally I am in a love
So deep and still so true
Words cannot express today
The way that I love you
‘Cause I’m in the groove again
Needle back on track
The darkness turns to daylight
In a momentary crack
I touch you and my heart melts
You touch me and I know then
This dream has finally come true
And I’m in the groove again
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July 25th, 2000
I’m not perfect
I make mistakes
But I know
What’s at stake
I hear you speak, Lord
I hear you speak to me
Lord, you are the King
Of my life
Lord you make me happy
Lord, you make it all worthwhile
Lord, you are the King
Lord, you are the King
I’m not perfect
I’ll never be
Sometimes I wonder
Why me?
But I hear you, Lord
I hear you speak to me
Lord, here I am
To do your will
I want to make you happy
I want to make it worthwhile
Lord, you are the King
Lord, you are the King
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November 17th, 2000
I can taste the sugar on your lips
When I kiss you
Sometimes I don’t know how to treat you right
I want to be your everything
Tonight
Reach for the light
I just want to hold you
Be with you tonight
Let it be forever
You know it’s either wrong or it’s right
Oh, you’re the one that I want
Oh, you’re the one that I need
Won’t you let me into your heart
Wish I knew where to start
Let it be forever
You know it’s either dark or it’s light
Oh, you’re the one that I want
Oh, you’re the one that I need
I can taste the sugar on your lips
When I kiss you
Sometimes I don’t know how to treat you right
I want to be your everything
Tonight
Reach for the light
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October 10th, 2000
You walked into my life
A rainstorm in the desert
That sugar-sweet taste of the night
Turning into day
So I walk you to your room
And see the light reflecting from your hair
Under the bright full moon
And you know what I want…
I want to stand up
And taste the sunshine
I want to bathe in the
Showers of morning light
And girl, I want to hold you
Until the sun goes down again
Tell you that I love you
Kiss you now and then
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October 8th, 2000
You’re still the girl I dream about
You still make my legs feel weak
You still manage to always make me smile
You give me a high I just wish I could keep
You’re still the voice that soothes me
A sight to put the light in my eyes
You’re still just as beautiful
As the southern starlit sky
You’re still a heart worth holding
You’re still able to light my fire
You’re still the only thing on my mind
It’s all for you when it gets down to the wire
Your picture is still flashing
On the movie-screen of my mind
And whatever happens between now and forever
You’re the one I’ll love deep inside
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March 15th, 2000
Your scent wafts down
From the palms and I
Am so in love with you
Ooooh
As they rustle
In the warm breeze and
I’m so in love with you
Ooooh
And can you feel it?
The pleasant soft of the Florida breeze
Yeah can you feel it?
The breath of love fulfills our needs
Yeah I can feel it
Yeah can you feel it?
Our lips touch now
And heaven’s set loose and
I am so in love with you
Ooooh
And as we kiss
You know it’s true that I
Am so in love with you
Ooooh
And can you feel it?
The pleasant soft of the Florida breeze
Yeah can you feel it?
The breath of love fulfills our needs
Yeah I can feel it
Yeah can you feel it?
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January 25th, 2002
For years we’ve been watching from a distance
Afraid to really let our feelings show
We were friends and that was just how it had to be
The rivers deeper run than we could know
We’d loved and lost with fools year after year
We shared each other’s heartaches many times
And in the end we had to have each other
Right in front of us it took so long to find
‘Cause you were there throughout it
You made the darkness bright
You swallowed all the pain that cursed
Those lonely, lonely nights
We can’t go wrong when baby, we’re so right
And I can’t seem to find the reasons why
I see your face in every morning sky
I hear your laughter, dry your tears
I’ll still hold you through the years to come
And when you need a shelter from the rain
From all the hurt and from the pain
One thing will always be the same
I’ll be here
I just can’t believe that we’re together
I can’t believe that you’re here in my arms
I can’t seem to remember all the reasons
Why we’ve kept ourselves apart for so long
Sometimes I can’t seem to explain it
There’s a million songs about you in my mind
Each one singing louder, louder, louder
And the tunes are all for real now, this time
‘Cause you were there throughout it
You made the darkness bright
You swallowed all the pain that cursed
Those lonely, lonely nights
We can’t go wrong when baby, we’re so right
And I can’t seem to find the reasons why
I see your face in every morning sky
I hear your laughter, dry your tears
I’ll still hold you through the years to come
And when you need a shelter from the rain
From all the hurt and from the pain
One thing will always be the same
I’ll be here
Yeah I can’t seem to find the reasons why
I see your face in every morning sky
I hear your laughter, dry your tears
I’ll still hold you through the years to come
And when you need a shelter from the rain
From all the hurt and from the pain
One thing will always be the same
I’ll be here
Yeah when you need a shelter from the rain
From all the hurt and from the pain
One thing will always be the same…
I’ll be here
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April 9th, 2000
Girl I can’t tell you what it’s been like
Since you stepped into my life
And the words just never seem enough
Girl I can’t tell you how it’s been
Since you stepped into my life
And I could never give you enough
Girl I can’t tell you what it’s been like
Since you stepped into my life
The words could never be enough
To tell you how I love you
And it never seems I’ve said it loud enough
It never seems I’ve said it clear
It makes me so happy when you’re here
When you’re near
I’ve never been as happy as I’ve been
Since you stepped into my life
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May 23rd, 2003
I wonder if it’s okay now
To poke my head from the fire
To bring myself in the open
To see all the world
Through the eyes of a liar
I wonder what I’ll be missin’
I wonder who out there cares
I bet can’t name a single face
Out in the crowd who knows I’m there
But I think I could try, I know I could try
I know I could fill that hole in your life
I think I’ve been seen, I just want to cry
The fear pulses though a million times
If I try
Maybe I’ll be fine this time
There’s a hundred reasons why I
Need this tonight
If I try
Maybe I’ll find a new light
Shinin’ from the darkness, maybe
I’ll see you
I wonder if we’re alone now
I wonder if we’re alive
I bet I’m just a pretender livin’ behind
Another man’s eyes
Life just throws out the answers
But we forget what we’ve asked
And in the corners of darkness
We’ll see the truth fades out so fast
But I think I could find, I know I could find
The words that tell, what lies behind
I think I’ve been seen, I can’t help but cry
The fear pulses through a million times
If I try
Maybe I’ll be fine this time
There’s a hundred reasons why I
Need this tonight
If I try
Maybe I’ll find a new light
Shinin’ from the darkness, maybe
I’ll see you
Yeah, shinin’ from the darkness, baby
I see you
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May 23rd, 2003
I close my eyes
To see what’s left behind
If only for a moment
I see you
Just a quiet whispered voice
And in my mind I make the choice
What else could I do
But follow you?
And I know you’re right here with me
Your grace, it sees me through
So lead me through this life
Open my eyes
You are the King of kings
The Prince of Peace
And I’ll follow you
So take this voice
Put your songs in this guitar
All the notes and all the words
They’re words of praise
As hard as life can be
There’s a truth you show to me
So what else could I do
But follow you?
And I know you’re right here with me
Your grace, it sees me through
So lead me through this life
Open my eyes
You are the King of kings
The Prince of Peace
And I’ll follow you
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August 1st, 1999
Oh, standing here
I think that I’m in heaven
I can hear you softly breathing
I’m so glad that you’re here with me
I kiss you so soft
And whisper that I love you
I know you’re always here
Girl you take away my fears
Babe I know no pain when you, when you are near
And, girl you’re the one for me
The only thing that I need
And I love you babe
Thank you for being here
I don’t know how to explain
Just how much you mean to me
And I love you babe
Thank you for being here
You’re the only one
Who makes me feel alive
You’re the one I treasure
I’d hold on to you forever
I can’t let you go
I need to feel you near me
In your arms I feel at home
I know I’ll never be alone
You’re all the love and life and laughter I know
‘Cause, girl you’re the one for me
The only thing that I need
And I love you babe
Thank you for being here
I don’t know how to explain
Just how much you mean to me
And I love you babe
Thank you for being here
Oh, thank you for being here
Thank you for being here
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