Scott Bradford: Off on a Tangent » Humor

Four Random Photos

Scott Bradford — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 18:12:18 +0000

And now for four more random photos! First, a truly high-tech security system at a CVS that apparently requires passing customers to call 911 when a bell is ringing. Second, our two cats secretly liking each other. Third, our youngest cat Vincent cuddling with an octopus toy. Finally, some stacked containers at a WalMart helpfully labeled, “DO NOT STACK.”

Three More Random Photos

Scott Bradford — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 00:54:56 +0000

Yes, I know, I’ve been slacking again on my posts. Sorry about that. Here are another three random photos to tide you over until I can write a bit more real content ;-). First, a baseball game at Nationals Park. Second, a funny ad at Sheetz for a pork sandwich. Finally, the most lonely parking space in the lot.

Three Random Photos

Scott Bradford — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 13:02:59 +0000

Three random photos: First, a sign for a psychic that states ‘Located on Rt. 50.’ U.S. Route 50, however, is a highway that runs the 3,008 miles from Sacramento, CA to Ocean City, MD and there is no indication of where on rt. 50 we should go (maybe we’re supposed to by psychic too). Second, Melissa cuts open a box that clearly states ‘do not cut open.’ Third, a glamor-shot of my favorite keyboard.

Some More Random Photos

Scott Bradford — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 21:27:06 +0000

Just a few random photos (including a few you might have already seen on my Facebook stream). We have a few of our cats, including two of Vincent being a freakin’ weirdo, and some strangely labeled food products that seem to be made of puffins, penguins, and silverfish.

April Fools Site: OoaT Subscriptions

Scott Bradford — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 04:01:52 +0000

On April Fools Day 2010, Off on a Tangent displayed with a modified template that asked users to purchase a site subscription. All content was cut-off after some introductory text and then had a notice asking users to subscribe to read the rest. The announcement read as-follows:

Get Your OoaT Subscription Today!

Effective today, I am instituting a premium subscription system for Off on a Tangent. If you want to gain access to some of the quality content on this website, please consider purchasing an Off on a Tangent subscription. Prices start at only $75/year! This is much less than some of our competitors, and I think [...]

Clicking on the various subscription links gave you this information:

Some Off on a Tangent content is available only to paying subscribers. Subscribers receive:

High quality news, opinion, and creative content from Scott Bradford.

No more ‘nag screens.’

Good ‘mojo’ from supporting the independent media.

A free subscribers’ gift*!

If you want to join the Off on a Tangent community and support quality, independent media, please consider subscribing. Subscription plans start as low as $75/year.

$75/year unlimited access†.

$95/year news and reviews access.

$150/year unlimited access.

$200/year premium access.

Unlimited access plans unlock the entire Off on a Tangent site with no restrictions whatsoever.

News and reviews plans unlock breaking news, news opinion, and product/media reviews. Fiction, poetry, and other miscellaneous content is not included.

Premium access plans provide all-access rights to Off on a Tangent, including everything in the ‘unlimited’ plan plus publish rights! You can contribute your own content to the Off on a Tangent community!

To subscribe, please contact me directly with a 250 word essay describing why you would like to be an Off on a Tangent subscriber!

* Free gift is available to unlimited and premium subscribers; gift may be made from pipe cleaners and snot.
† $75/year unlimited plan requires 25-year subscription contract and 10-years prepayment.

Click to see how it looked!

Something is Wrong With This Picture

Scott Bradford — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 00:34:52 +0000

Something is wrong with this picture. I couldn’t get the photo as clearly as I wanted (given the road-salt-encrusted windshield and ambient lighting conditions), but the bumper sticker captured here says something like this:

Worried about the economy?
BUY AMERICAN
(name of some labor union)

Fine sentiment, I suppose, but a bit ironic seeing it on a Toyota Sienna. Of course, in this mixed-up multinational world, it is worth noting that the Sienna seen here was likely manufactured in Kentucky…so it is, in my humble opinion, more ‘American’ than a Dodge made in Mexico or a Ford made in Turkey.

But it was, indeed, manufactured by a Japanese firm, and by non-union workers to boot. I doubt this gentleman’s Sienna would meet with the approval of the folks who printed the bumper sticker.

Retail Decoration and Engrish Photos

Scott Bradford — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 16:41:05 +0000

Over the last several days I’ve taken some photos of random, funny stuff at local retailers and restaurants. Included below is a scary cardboard bear from Michael’s, two mannequins from Dulles Town Center Mall, and some good Engrish from a local Chinese restaurant Melissa and I frequent. Enjoy!

Anyone Experiencing ‘Avatar’ Withdrawal?

Scott Bradford — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 00:41:57 +0000

I haven’t seen James Cameron’s new film Avatar yet. I generally like Cameron’s films—The Abyss is one of my favorites—but I really, really hate movie theaters. I’ll catch it on DVD someday.

While reviews of Avatar have been mixed, to say the least, there are clearly a lot of people who like it. Having said that, I think that some people have taken the film a bit too seriously. Quoting from an article that appeared today on CNN.com:

James Cameron’s completely immersive spectacle Avatar may have been a little too real for some fans who say they have experienced depression and suicidal thoughts after seeing the film because they long to enjoy the beauty of the alien world Pandora.

Seriously?

I suspect I’ve made myself much more depressed by reading this article than I would have by watching Avatar and suffering from fictional world withdrawal.

Joke Software: Coin Drop 1.0

Scott Bradford — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 05:04:58 +0000

Have you ever been angry at a company—particularly when they say you owe them money—and are tempted to pay your bill with coins just to annoy them? We’ve all been there, but people always take the simplistic approach of paying in pennies.

Coin Drop is a groundbreaking web application that helps you compute how to pay a troublesome bill in roughly equal amounts of the various denominations of United States coinage. Why pay your $500 bill with a simple 50,000 pennies when you can pay with a confusing jumble of 1,219 quarters, 1,221 dimes, 1,219 nickels, and 1,220 pennies?

The program lets you pick and choose your coinage, so if you hate quarters but love those stupid dollar coins you are in luck. It’ll even tell you how many rolls you need to get from the bank. Enjoy!

Program Specs:

Written in HTML, CSS, and JavaScript (incl. jQuery).

Version History:

Version 1.0 (January 4, 2010): First version.

Download/Use:

Coin Drop 1.0 (HTML).

Stuff From Today: Hiccups, Snow, Penguin

Scott Bradford — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 01:43:15 +0000

This morning, I had to take Melissa to an art show in Falls Church. It was raining on the drive, but nothing too bad. As I loaded her stuff into the show, I came down with a terrible case of the hiccups. I absolutely hate hiccups and all of the supposed remedies—holding breath, drinking water, etc., etc., etc.—never seem to work.

So I did a Google search from my phone and the first result was a site claiming it has a 30-second cure for the hiccups. I was completely skeptical but, much to my surprise…it worked. It worked instantly and the hiccups were completely gone and have not returned. If you come down with the hiccups, give it a shot and see if it works for you. Your mileage may vary.

On the drive back to the house (around 9:30am) the rain began turning to sleet, and then quickly to accumulating snow. We got about 2 or 3 inches by the end of the day. I absolutely love snow, so it was a good day for me. It was also my first chance to try out the Subaru in snow, since we haven’t had hardly any winter weather since we got it. I was very satisfied with its performance.

Aside from the two snow pics (1st right when it was starting to accumulate, and 2nd later in the day), I’ve also included a really scary penguin we saw at Target. Enjoy!