Scott Bradford: Off on a Tangent

Sulu Facts

Last Updated December 2, 2011, 5:30 p.m.

Hikaru Sulu

Everybody knows about Chuck Norris Facts—seemingly absurd (though accurate) statements about Chuck Norris. Less well known are similarly true facts about Hikaru Sulu, astrobiologist, helmsman of the USS Enterprise, and later captain of the USS Excelsior.

In the Star Trek on-screen canon, Sulu is established as an avid botanist, expert swordsman, judo practitioner, and expert in antique Earth weapons (including firearms). Additionally, he was knowledgeable about ancient Earth vehicles and was able to fly a helicopter that had been built hundreds of years before he was born.

Just don’t call him ‘tiny.’

The Facts

Nobody brings a sword to a phaser fight…except Hikaru Sulu. — Scott Bradford

Hikaru Sulu prefers a .45 Magnum to a phaser. A .45 can’t be set to ‘stun.’ — Scott Bradford

If the helm isn’t responding, it must have been overloaded…by Hikaru Sulu. — Scott Bradford

Hikaru Sulu is immune to the Vulcan nerve pinch. — Scott Bradford

Chuck Norris is no match for a swashbuckling Hikaru Sulu. — Scott Bradford

Hikaru Sulu invented Q. — Scott Bradford

Many believe that warp drives are powered by a matter/antimatter reaction channelled through a dilithium crystal assembly. No; they are powered by Hikaru Sulu. — Scott Bradford

Hikaru Sulu is in a constant state of pon farr. — Scott Bradford

Hikaru Sulu can play ‘Stairway to Heaven’ on the Enterprise helm console. — Scott Bradford

Hikaru Sulu has destroyed several Romulan ships…with a sword. — Scott Bradford

Hikaru Sulu can make the Kessel Run in under eight parsecs. — Scott Bradford

Hikaru Sulu takes monorails very seriously. — Scott Bradford

Hikaru Sulu is the only licensed Texas Ranger in the 23rd century. — Scott Bradford

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Scott Bradford has been building web sites and using them to say what he thinks since 1995, which tended to get him in trouble with power-tripping assistant principals at the time. He holds a bachelor’s degree in Public Administration from George Mason University, but has spent most of his career (so far) working on public- and private-sector web sites. He is not a member of any political party, and brands himself an ‘independent constitutional conservative.’ In addition to holding down a day job and blogging about challenging subjects like politics, religion, and technology, Scott is also a devout Catholic, gun-owner, bike rider, and music lover with a wife and two cats.

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