(Written for Prof. Bulger’s Intro. to Oral Communication [COMM100] class at George Mason University.)

How many of you have known somebody your entire life? You know, that somebody that you’re just unbelievably close to. Somebody who you just can’t live without? I met somebody like that more than eighteen years ago.

Who is this person I’m speaking of? That’s right, I’m talking about myself, Scott Bradford, the one person that I’ve known for my entire life. First I’ll tell you about how I met myself, then I’ll speak to our long-lasting friendship through the hard times and the good, and what this friendship has really meant to me over the years.

I met myself for the first time in Key West, Florida on October 28, 1982. I don’t really remember it anymore, but I know that it was then that we became the most inseparable of friends. My parents and mine had always been very close for years before then. Both of our fathers were in the United States Coast Guard, and always seemed to be stationed in the same places. It was an amazing coincidence. We grew up together, mostly here in Northern Virginia, with the short stay in Key West back at the beginning and a 3-years stay in California during Elementary school. We always ended up in the same classes too. In fact, myself and I have hardly been apart for more than a few minutes the entire time I’ve known me.

I really don’t think about Scott much, even though I’m always hanging out with me. I’m usually focused on other people and other things, which sometimes makes me wonder if I’m taking me for granted. But I always try to be there to listen when I have a problem, I’m always around when I need support, and I try to do the same for me. Every time I’ve had trouble with women, every time there’s been a death in my family, or my car breaks down, every time I need somebody to talk to I know I’ll always be there. I’ve always been able to trust myself with secrets and to tell me to do the right thing. There’s nobody in the world that I am closer to than me, and there are few friendships stronger than the one we have.

As I’m sure you can tell, my friendship with myself is a long-lasting and close one. I can’t imagine not having someone so close to me that I can go to with anything, and vice versa. I’ve known me for over eighteen years, and I never cease to amaze me. We’ve spent an entire lifetime together so far, and it doesn’t look like that trend is going to change anytime soon.

You know, sometimes when I get talking about my best friend me, people start to look at me like I’m crazy. They call me schizophrenic, they call me a lunatic, and sometimes they even throw things at me. But that kind of stigma will never get in the way of this friendship. I’ve known me for my entire life, and I can imagine living without me around. So say what you will, call me names, but I’m my best friend, and no matter what you say I will never stop talking to myself.

Scott Bradford has been building web sites and using them to say what he thinks since 1995, which tended to get him in trouble with power-tripping assistant principals at the time. He holds a bachelor’s degree in Public Administration from George Mason University, but has spent most of his career (so far) working on public- and private-sector web sites. He is not a member of any political party, and brands himself an ‘independent constitutional conservative.’ In addition to holding down a day job and blogging about challenging subjects like politics, religion, and technology, Scott is also a devout Catholic, gun-owner, bike rider, and music lover with a wife, two cats, and a dog.