Job search over! I start at Microsoft in May!

Today, the first day of April, I got out of class a little early and decided to go through some job listings and check my email.

The only interesting job listing I found was a new position with They’re looking for engineers to work at their new Lunar hosting and research center. (Read about that here). I’ve been interested in positions off-planet, but until we have regular passenger traffic between here and Luna (that’s the moon) I think it might be a little inconvenient.

I mean, I’m already asking people to drive up from SoVa for the wedding next year, it might be a little cumbersome to get everybody up to the Google facility on Luna.

Regardless, the point became relatively moot when I checked my email! I had two messages (aside all the spam and such). The first was from a lawyer at Microsoft, who was asking me to cease and desist from the new Website 15.0!!! design (apparently Microsoft holds a trademark on “tacky” and “ugly” and “moving” when used together, and he said that the red coloring is too similar to the default theme in the next version of Windows). He ordered me to revert to previous designs or develop a new one within the next 24 hours.

But then, I got a second email—this one from somebody in Microsoft’s HR department. Apparently somebody higher-up liked my new website design, and after poking through the site they thought I might be a good fit for a new position in their Marketing and Public Relations department.

You see, somebody read my rant about version numbers (Rant Version VK 4.0 2004) and thought I’d be perfect to develop and explain new names for Windows operating systems in the future. They thought I’d be good for the position in part because of the rant, and in part because my site design proves I’m obviously in-tune with Microsoft’s “tacky, ugly, and moving” motif.

I’m happy to say that I accepted the position! I was little concerned at first, being a Mac user and all, but the HR rep. on the phone let me in on a little secret—the programmers at Microsoft are the only ones that use Windows. The rest of the company runs either Linux or Mac OS, but they’ve themed them all to LOOK like Windows so the programmers won’t get all offended and all. “Come on,” she told me, “we actually have to get work done. We can’t use that crap put out in the programming division.”

So I’ll be starting at Microsoft in May. I’m wondering what you all think about the next version of Windows. The code name is “Longhorn,” so I’m thinking we should call it “Microsoft Windows LH 2006.” What do you think? Any other ideas?

Anyway, I’ve got to go—this will probably be my last entry on the first day of April, I’ll probably write some more tomorrow.

Scott Bradford is a writer and technologist who has been putting his opinions online since 1995. He believes in three inviolable human rights: life, liberty, and property. He is a Catholic Christian who worships the trinitarian God described in the Nicene Creed. Scott is a husband, nerd, pet lover, and AMC/Jeep enthusiast with a B.S. degree in public administration from George Mason University.