Driving home from work yesterday, I ended up behind a truck with a large, bright, orange label attached to the back stating “THIS TRAILER MONITORED BY V CHIP TECHNOLOGY.” This struck me as odd, since the V-Chip is the name of the parental control technology included by law in all televisions manufactured since 2000. The V-Chip, which was introduced along side all those stupid TV ratings (e.g., TV-MA), allows parents to censor what their children see—you know, since the best way to prepare children for the harsh realities of life is to shelter them from those realities.

Regardless, the federally-mandated V-Chip included in every TV since 2000 is rarely used, since most parents don’t know it exists and those who do either don’t understand how to use it or don’t want to. Perhaps, in an effort to put all that tax money to better use, the federal government is going to be mandating that V-Chips be added to trucks. The chip will prevent those trucks from driving down any highways that include offensive billboards or suggestive lane markings, filter bad language from the CB radio, and prevent drivers from listening to Paul McCartney or looking at Janet Jackson’s nipple.