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Scott Bradford: Off on a Tangent
Keith Johnston, Pixabay

Ten Ways to Make Baseball Interesting

Keith Johnston, Pixabay
Posted

I like baseball, in theory. But let’s be honest. The game is sort-of boring. Here are ten things we can do to fix that:

  1. Use a football. Preferably deflated.
  2. Ten bonus points every time you hit the scoreboard.
  3. Automatic three-outs if you catch the ball in your mouth.
  4. Disputes over balls vs. strikes settled by a standardized best-of-three game of rock-paper-scissors.
  5. Each team can release five cats onto the field at any point during the game.
  6. Each team can designate one inning where the other team must wear blindfolds.
  7. For one randomly selected inning, the floor is lava.
  8. If there are 0 or 2 outs, the runner must run counterclockwise. If there is 1 out, the runner must run clockwise. Running the wrong way is an automatic out.
  9. Once per game, each team can declare a Calvinball.
  10. Five innings. Just five. Please. That’s plenty.

Scott Bradford has been putting his opinions on his website since 1995—before most people knew what a website was. He has been a professional web developer in the public- and private-sector for over twenty years. He is an independent constitutional conservative who believes in human rights and limited government, and a Catholic Christian whose beliefs are summarized in the Nicene Creed. He holds a bachelor’s degree in Public Administration from George Mason University. He loves Pink Floyd and can play the bass guitar . . . sort-of. He’s a husband, pet lover, amateur radio operator, and classic AMC/Jeep enthusiast.