The Axis of Evil Animals

People who have known me for a long time know that I have long considered two kinds of animals to be evil. Of course, in reality, no animal is really ‘evil’ since they are simply slaves to their instincts, but we tend to assign human qualities to them anyway.

The two I have long considered evil are deer and squirrels. I came to this conclusion based on the fact that these two animals are hit by cars more often than any others, generally because they zig-zag around like absolute morons when cars approach instead just, say, getting out of the way. Since this is fairly consistent, I figure they’ve got to be involved in some kind of personal injury insurance scam.

I’ve neglected, however, to include geese. So, as of today, consider geese the third in my newly-established Axis of Evil Animals, joining deer and squirrels.

Geese have now been formally implicated by the National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) in the crash landing of US Airways Flight 1549 into the Hudson River in New York. Aside from that, they’re also just terrible, mean-spirited creatures. Ever spent any time with a goose? They’re evil, and they hiss like angry cats for no reason.

Scott Bradford is a writer and technologist who has been putting his opinions online since 1995. He believes in three inviolable human rights: life, liberty, and property. He is a Catholic Christian who worships the trinitarian God described in the Nicene Creed. Scott is a husband, nerd, pet lover, and AMC/Jeep enthusiast with a B.S. degree in public administration from George Mason University.