BREAKING: Carmen Sandiego to Be Released Tuesday

Off on a Tangent has learned that Carmen Sandiego, ringleader of the infamous Villains’ International League of Evil (VILE) crime syndicate, is scheduled for release from federal prison in Waseca, Minnesota, on Tuesday. Sandiego was convicted of felony tax evasion in 1999 and is serving a fifteen-year sentence. According to sources at the U.S. Marshals Service speaking on condition of anonymity, she is being released early due to good behavior during her incarceration.

Sandiego’s crime spree began in 1985 with a series of high-profile robberies. As a former detective for the renowned ACME Detective Agency in San Francisco, California, her knowledge of law-enforcement and detecting techniques allowed her to elude capture for well over a decade. She spent eight years on the FBI most-wanted list, and was finally apprehended by a Central Intelligence Agency operation at a Finnish villa in November 1998. Her apprehension sparked a major diplomatic row between the United States and Finland.

Sandiego was charged with over twenty crimes, including six counts of robbery, four counts of conspiracy, and three counts of obstruction of justice, but was only convicted on two charges of felony tax evasion in 1999. Many Sandiego associates, including Ihor Ihorovich and Dazzle Annie, remain at large, despite being the subject of numerous ongoing manhunts.

As a condition of her release, it is expected that Sandiego will be required to wear a GPS-enabled tracking anklet for the remainder of her sentence.

Scott Bradford has been putting his opinions on his website since 1995—before most people knew what a website was. He has been a professional web developer in the public- and private-sector for over twenty years. He is an independent constitutional conservative who believes in human rights and limited government, and a Catholic Christian whose beliefs are summarized in the Nicene Creed. He holds a bachelor’s degree in Public Administration from George Mason University. He loves Pink Floyd and can play the bass guitar . . . sort-of. He’s a husband, pet lover, amateur radio operator, and classic AMC/Jeep enthusiast.